Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Waiting... waiting... waiting

Yes, for those who are wondering I am still waiting... this is no surprise given my past track record. I was commenting to Adriaan yesterday how I think 'due dates' are mostly unhelpful to pregnant women (well for me anyway, who is always 'late'). Why can't we be given a range of dates to expect labour rather than just one. The term 'late' has negative overtones - so those of us who are left waiting at 40+ weeks feel a small sense of disappointment and failure. Completely irrational, I know.

And then there is the whole debate about what a correct due date is in the beginning. My original date was 12th October (which would at this stage make me only 39wks!). I had long cycles before I conceived so this date was a bit later than what the calendar offered. Then my date was moved to the 5th after the ultrasound results. I found out yesterday at my checkup that the 5th is actually 4 days earlier then my calendar date which is the 9th! So when I am actually due? It's anybody's guess. I am just glad to know that God knows when this baby is going to make an appearance!

Of course, the result of mucking around with the dates is a possible early and unnecessary induction of labour, which I am quite opposed to unless really necessary. So I am booked in for my assessment on Friday (which could be my proper due date) with a tentative induction booking on the 15th! If the 9th or 12th are closer to my actual due date, then this is a very unnecessary intervention (especially since both other boys have come spontaneously). So if everything looks good and healthy on Friday I will be asking for a review of my dates.

This is a bittersweet approach, however. I don't really like the idea that this bub could be inside for another 2 weeks! That seems like an awfully long time at this point in the pregnancy... but I also don't want to be induced when bub will most likely come happily and healthily in its own good time.

It's definitely the hardest last few weeks of pregnancy yet. With two others to look after during the day, only the occasional opportunity for a nap, another bub who still wakes most nights' at least once (and only wants mummy) and who insists on waking before 5.30am - even with daylight saving... I am pretty worn out. The constant thoughts of 'how am I going to cope?' keep running through my mind - especially as I look at my 20 month old, who still acts like a baby so much of the time and is VERY mummy clingy and jealous.

So, I can only look to God in my helpless and tired state and remind myself of what my mum keeps telling me - that he will strengthen me for every task ahead and provide all I need to get through. I am constantly thankful for a caring, helpful, supportive and generous family and don't know what I'd do without them!

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