Sunday, October 25, 2009

The wait is over!

Welcome to my beautiful third son
Judah Ryker Schepel.
Born Sunday 18th October at 3:02pm
4.08kg/ 9lb. 50cm long









It's been a bit of a rollercoaster week in terms of emotions. Incredible joy, wonder and relief at the birth of another child, another precious gift from our amazing and creative God. The pain and trauma of labour and delivery and then the worry and sadness as our little one was whisked off to the special care nursery. The tears shed at the final end of the delivery process after some complications with the birth of the placenta and the horrid process of being stitched up. The grief of only holding my little boy for a few moments, not being able to breastfeed him or be with him in his first hours of life. More tears as we visited him in the special care nursery and seeing him with tubes, wires, a canula and in a humidity crib. Thankfulness that his condition was stable and that we were able to hold him then. Loneliness as I lay in the postnatal ward alone without my little one. Joy and warmth as Judah was able to breastfeed the next morning, his stomach tube came out and he moved out out of the humidity crib and into the cot. Rejoicing when Judah was able to be with me on the ward on day 3. Incredible tiredness of sleepness nights once we were home. The warm fuzzies of watching my older two play together and imagining the three of them together as they grow. How blessed I am and how good is God to give me three precious sons.





Labour in the end came spontaneously on the Sunday morning (after a nice hot curry from our Indian neighbours and some acupuncture the evening before!) So I was thankful not to have to face an induction, even though we had gone against doctor advice and opted to move the date for an induction till Thursday. Established labour was only one hour, so Judah came out very quickly. This is the reason he ended up in special care - there was no time for him to transition, so he gulped a whole lot of fluid on his way out, making it difficult for him to breathe and filling his stomach with mucus.






In the last few weeks of pregnancy I was pondering what life would be like with 2 boys and one girl or 3 boys. It dawned on me that whomever was growing inside would shape our family very differently from the other. This filled me with great anticipation about what God might/could do with our family depending on whether he had given us a girl or a boy. So this is the first step in the journey that God has mapped out for our family of five. I look forward to the relationships that will develop between our sons and with Adriaan and myself. I look forward to seeing a special bond develop between the three of them due to their closeness in age and the fact that they are of the same gender. And of course I suppose, the inevitable fisty cuffs which will ensue at some point!




So now I have the privilege of raising 3 gorgeous boys and the challenge of growing them into strong, righteous men who walk with Jesus. Some have already pitied me for not having a daughter. Don't pity me. Pray for me. I do feel completely inadequate for the job - not having any brothers to at least know what it is like to have boys in the house! But what joy I feel. What a fabulous journey to anticipate. I am so proud of my three little men. My cup overflows with thankfulness to our maker and keeper.


Unless the Lord builds the house

its builders labour in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,

the watchmen stand guard in vain,

In vain you rise early and stay up late

toiling for food to eat -

for he grants sleep to those he loves.

Sons are a heritage from the Lord,

children a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior

are sons born in one's youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

They will not be put to shame

when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Induction of Labour

I am officially 10 days 'overdue'. This is the standard time that most hospitals will induce labour. I have opted to wait until 42 weeks ( and even then I am considering allowing more time for a spontaneous onset of labour).

Having to face these issues has been quite eye opening. I was 'overdue' with both Caelan (1 week) and Elisha (4 days) but never had to face the prospect of an induction. So with two previous spontaneous labours, one wonders why my body won't do the same this time around? I have been doing quite a lot of reading about inductions, what is involved, why it is encouraged and why others think for the most part it is often unnecessary.

As I stated in my last post there is a disagreement between myself and the hospital about my 'due' date. I went for another check up today and tried unsuccessfully again to have my dates reviewed. It seems nowadays hospital systems opt for the computer generated date over and above all other information available. The computer is wired to spit out the most reliable date. Evidence does suggest that the ultrasound provides the most accurate date especially if the woman's menstrual cycle was not regular and unreliable. I had two cycles prior to falling pregnant, both of which were 38 days. The date given to me by the computer would have given me a cycle of 25days!! Just a small discrepancy! Yet no matter how much I call to review my cycles, my past history with both boys as well as my history of cycles in between previous pregnancies - the computer can't be told. And thus, I assume in this era of litigation and reducing risk at all cost, the hospital must uphold what technology says over and above common sense and a woman's understanding of her own physiology.

I don't have a problem with induction if there is a medical reason for it. But at this stage no one can give me a medical reason why this bub should be induced. I have had no health issues during the pregnancy, the baby's feotal monitoring is giving good results and he/she has stacks of fluid showing that the placenta is still working well. The only reason they can give is 'research shows an increased exponential risk of still birth if pregnancy continues past 42weeks.'

What they don't tell you is this:

  • Full term gestation varies from 37wks-42wks (not 40wks). So technically I am not yet overdue!
  • Yes, the risk doubles: from 1:1000 to 2:1000 or 0.01% to 0.02% - so the risk in the first place is very small!
  • Also, most of these stillbirths have been babies with congenial diseases or other health issues and a very small number have been healthy babies.
  • If my waters are artifically broken, there is an increased risk of infection to the baby.The induction techniques may not be effective straight off, leaving a more fatigued mother at the start of the labour process.
  • Labour contractions can be more painful and thus increasing the need in some women to opt for pain relief such as an epidural which can then lead to further complications.
  • At the end of the day, you are forcing your body into a process that it is not yet ready for - so why not wait for the natural onset?

As I said before, if there is a medical reason, then I would choose the appropriate medical intervention. However, it is infuriating that even in places like birth centres which are meant to support a more natural approach to birthing will still not support a woman in their choice to wait. Of course, they can't make me have the induction, but have made it very clear that that decision 'is on my own head.'

In saying all of this, I don't yet know what I will do. I am pretty sick of waiting and just want this baby to come. I also don't know if I have the energy and willpower to 'fight' the system. They make you feel so guilty and bad and I can't stop thinking about the whole thing. Instead of being content in my last days of carrying this baby, I am constantly worried about being 'overdue', the potential disastrous consequences of the decision I might make, whether I am just being too stubborn and should just get over it and how I might form my arguements to make my case at the hospital. I was awake for hours last night thinking this stuff through, instead of getting the rest I should be getting.

So we really need wisdom. My hope is this baby comes before Sunday (when I'd need to get the gel) so I don't really have to make this decision. We need the wisdom of the All Wise.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Waiting... waiting... waiting

Yes, for those who are wondering I am still waiting... this is no surprise given my past track record. I was commenting to Adriaan yesterday how I think 'due dates' are mostly unhelpful to pregnant women (well for me anyway, who is always 'late'). Why can't we be given a range of dates to expect labour rather than just one. The term 'late' has negative overtones - so those of us who are left waiting at 40+ weeks feel a small sense of disappointment and failure. Completely irrational, I know.

And then there is the whole debate about what a correct due date is in the beginning. My original date was 12th October (which would at this stage make me only 39wks!). I had long cycles before I conceived so this date was a bit later than what the calendar offered. Then my date was moved to the 5th after the ultrasound results. I found out yesterday at my checkup that the 5th is actually 4 days earlier then my calendar date which is the 9th! So when I am actually due? It's anybody's guess. I am just glad to know that God knows when this baby is going to make an appearance!

Of course, the result of mucking around with the dates is a possible early and unnecessary induction of labour, which I am quite opposed to unless really necessary. So I am booked in for my assessment on Friday (which could be my proper due date) with a tentative induction booking on the 15th! If the 9th or 12th are closer to my actual due date, then this is a very unnecessary intervention (especially since both other boys have come spontaneously). So if everything looks good and healthy on Friday I will be asking for a review of my dates.

This is a bittersweet approach, however. I don't really like the idea that this bub could be inside for another 2 weeks! That seems like an awfully long time at this point in the pregnancy... but I also don't want to be induced when bub will most likely come happily and healthily in its own good time.

It's definitely the hardest last few weeks of pregnancy yet. With two others to look after during the day, only the occasional opportunity for a nap, another bub who still wakes most nights' at least once (and only wants mummy) and who insists on waking before 5.30am - even with daylight saving... I am pretty worn out. The constant thoughts of 'how am I going to cope?' keep running through my mind - especially as I look at my 20 month old, who still acts like a baby so much of the time and is VERY mummy clingy and jealous.

So, I can only look to God in my helpless and tired state and remind myself of what my mum keeps telling me - that he will strengthen me for every task ahead and provide all I need to get through. I am constantly thankful for a caring, helpful, supportive and generous family and don't know what I'd do without them!