It's been a bit of a rollercoaster week in terms of emotions. Incredible joy, wonder and relief at the birth of another child, another precious gift from our amazing and creative God. The pain and trauma of labour and delivery and then the worry and sadness as our little one was whisked off to the special care nursery. The tears shed at the final end of the delivery process after some complications with the birth of the placenta and the horrid process of being stitched up. The grief of only holding my little boy for a few moments, not being able to breastfeed him or be with him in his first hours of life. More tears as we visited him in the special care nursery and seeing him with tubes, wires, a canula and in a humidity crib. Thankfulness that his condition was stable and that we were able to hold him then. Loneliness as I lay in the postnatal ward alone without my little one. Joy and warmth as Judah was able to breastfeed the next morning, his stomach tube came out and he moved out out of the humidity crib and into the cot. Rejoicing when Judah was able to be with me on the ward on day 3. Incredible tiredness of sleepness nights once we were home. The warm fuzzies of watching my older two play together and imagining the three of them together as they grow. How blessed I am and how good is God to give me three precious sons.
Labour in the end came spontaneously on the Sunday morning (after a nice hot curry from our Indian neighbours and some acupuncture the evening before!) So I was thankful not to have to face an induction, even though we had gone against doctor advice and opted to move the date for an induction till Thursday. Established labour was only one hour, so Judah came out very quickly. This is the reason he ended up in special care - there was no time for him to transition, so he gulped a whole lot of fluid on his way out, making it difficult for him to breathe and filling his stomach with mucus.
In the last few weeks of pregnancy I was pondering what life would be like with 2 boys and one girl or 3 boys. It dawned on me that whomever was growing inside would shape our family very differently from the other. This filled me with great anticipation about what God might/could do with our family depending on whether he had given us a girl or a boy. So this is the first step in the journey that God has mapped out for our family of five. I look forward to the relationships that will develop between our sons and with Adriaan and myself. I look forward to seeing a special bond develop between the three of them due to their closeness in age and the fact that they are of the same gender. And of course I suppose, the inevitable fisty cuffs which will ensue at some point!
So now I have the privilege of raising 3 gorgeous boys and the challenge of growing them into strong, righteous men who walk with Jesus. Some have already pitied me for not having a daughter. Don't pity me. Pray for me. I do feel completely inadequate for the job - not having any brothers to at least know what it is like to have boys in the house! But what joy I feel. What a fabulous journey to anticipate. I am so proud of my three little men. My cup overflows with thankfulness to our maker and keeper.
Unless the Lord builds the house
its builders labour in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain,
In vain you rise early and stay up late
for he grants sleep to those he loves.
children a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127.
2 comments:
Oh, this is such a lovely post, Cara. I'm surprised you have time to blog. Thank you for sharing your emotions and joy of having a beautiful, God-given son. It is wonderful to hear you speak of the anticipation of what life will be like with three sons. Praise God for all 5 of you :)
you go and raise those boys as godly men! Ive had the pity you dont have a boy talk and I am not sad at all. The children that God blesses us with is already mapped out in His wonderful plan for us - who are we to want to change that!!
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