Why do kids do what they do?

Watching my two and a bit year old son can be a constant source of humour. What goes through his head (or any other toddler his age) to make him do what he does, I will never know. However, it would be fascinating to know! Like why when Elisha is lying on the floor does Caelan have to grab every cushion in the lounge room (approx 10 or so) and pile them up next to him? Why as pictured below, does my mum have to sit on the floor, head on the lounge, also piled high with cushions and then he also have to be covered with cushions? Why when Elisha sits under his play gym does Caelan have to hang daddy's hankies all over the arch so that Elisha can't see anything?


In other news, Lishi (our nickname for Elisha) is now grabbing at objects and Caelan has started eating apple!! For those that don't know, I have a VERY picky and fussy eater. He eats a very limited amount of food and eats no fruit except for bananas which he hasn't been eating the last couple of months. So the fact that he is eating apple is a breakthrough!!

Thanks also to those encouraging comments to my last post. It is heartening to know that I am not the only one who feels these things. All you mums out there - keep going strong in the Lord's grace and strength.

When life isn't always 'green'

The power of speech is an amazing thing.

To be honest, the last 14weeks of my life haven't been that easy. Since Elisha has come into the world, life has been quite hard. Sure, there have been some good days, some wonderful moments, the times when your heart melts at his little smile or giggle. The times where he falls asleep so content in your arms - you can't help yourself - you just have to kiss his soft head.

But as the weeks have worn on I found myself turning more and more inward. Being isolated from networks of friends that I used to have I am sure made the situation worse. I found everyday staring at the same four walls, with the same 2 year old tantrums, the same 3 month old cries made me weary, made me frustrated, made me all of a sudden want a different life, made me not want to be the full time mother anymore.

I had a particularly bad week recently where I think I cried everyday of that week and one day I virtually cried for most of the day. So it was fairly obvious to Adriaan that there was something wrong. I couldn't keep it all inside anymore. I couldn't keep pretending that everything was fine. I had to speak. I had to say the shameful things I was feeling. I had to let go of my pride which told me that I could cope all on my own.

So over a couple of days, I verbalised what had been internalised for quite a while. I was able to speak to my mum and a couple of other people as well. The difference within myself through sheer vocalisation is astounding. No longer do I feel like I am carrying this alone. The burden has lifted and the days are a bit easier. It hasn't solved all my issues and some days I still struggle. I suppose maybe it works because no longer do I have to pretend to be supermum either to myself or to anyone else. I suppose that alone is a pretty huge burden for anyone to carry.

Why green?

I love the colour green. Green is fresh. Green is vibrant. Green is new growth. So is life always greener on the other side of the fence? Perhaps too many of us live life as though it was - or more importantly live life like there is nothing we can do about it.

I chose this title for my blog because our family have started a new chapter in our lives this year. My husband Adriaan changed jobs at the beginning of the year, we moved house, suburbs and had a new baby! We chose this path because our grass wasn't green enough. No, not that we envied other people but rather we desired to live differently to how we were living.

We have chosen to cast a vision of what we would like life to look like. For me, living fresh is part of that vision. It's not that life is always 'green' (or rosy as the other saying goes) - with too young boys at the moment, most days don't feel that 'green'. But it's more of a discovery of loving life - my life - not someone elses'. Of loving people. Of loving this world in its' beauty and abundance. Of loving its' author and creator in all his wisdom and grace.

So a bit like our new herb garden that we planted this weekend, although I might stuggle sometimes (or a lot), I hope to grow abundant and useful fulfilling all that I was created for.