A real day off

It's taken me a few days to blog about it but I had a real day off on Australia day. Mum and dad minded the boys for the day (from about 9am-5pm) and Adriaan and I had a whole day together. It's definately been well over a year ago that we had that much time together. We ended up driving around the Hawkesbury region which proved to be very enjoyable.

We first drove out to Bowen Mountain and did a short walk in the Blue Mountains National Park to a small trickling waterfall. The drive in tested the suburu's 4WD capabilities and the walk itself was lovely and alive with birdlife. We admired the structure and colour of the Angophora costata (Sydney Red Gum) and just enjoyed walking with no children in tow! It was so nice to be able to hold hands!! (No prams and no children to carry or hold hands with).

We then made our way to the Grose River at Yarramundi for our picnic lunch, which turned out to be a big mistake. As it was Australia day, any popular swimming spot was packed out. After doing a very tight u-turn in the carpark we ended up eating by the Hawkesbury at North Richmond, which was very pleasant and quiet.

After a yummy lunch of very large tiger prawns we did something very appropriate on Australia day. We went and visited Ebenezer Church (at Ebenezer, nth of Windsor). It is the oldest church building in Australia. It was built in 1809. It was built as a Presbyterian church but now the Uniting church have ownership. You can also view the oldest school house in Australia on the same grounds. Check out the steep staircase below. Also located on the river, the property is beautiful and the buildings are really well cared for.

We then headed off to see and taste one of Australia's oldest wineries; Tizzana Winery in Ebenezer. It was built in 1887 and the current owners have been running it fo 40 years. This was also an enjoyable experience and came home with a delightful Rosé. We headed towards Windsor for a late afternoon coffee and then off to pick up the boys.

All in all we had a delightful day. It did seem to go too fast. I am hoping within the next few months Elisha might be at the point where we could leave him for a whole night!! Thanks mum and dad and Aunty Jem for making it possible.

Attention all book lovers!

For those of you who didn't see this article in the SMH today, I thought I'd post the link.

10 top kid books to read (or read aloud) before turning 10.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/lifeandstyle/back-to-school/top-10-kids-books/2009/01/21/1232471367575.html

It's inspired me for a possible birthday present for Caelan.

Another dose of patience, please?

Anyone know where you can buy patience? I think I need some and maybe a chill pill or two. The last 2 and a bit weeks we have been toilet training Caelan. He's done pretty well on the whole with no. 1's. He is displaying typical boy behaviour of taking his time about it but he gets most of his 'wees' in the toilet. No 2's are a whole different arena. He simply refuses to do them in the toilet or potty. He will do them in his underwear or his nappy which he wears at sleep time. He has even started asking for a nappy to do them in! I haven't obliged, yet... I figure if he doesn't like doing them in his pants, then surely he will want to do them in the toilet...

Or not. I have just spent the last hour researching this issue on the internet. Seems like I am not alone (although it feels like it... all you people out there who's kids seems to toilet train in a few days!!) And it seems some kids will carry on like this for a year or more!! Yikes!

Yesterday, I lost my patience with Caelan. We were running to the toilet every few minutes cause he needed to do a no. 2. Yet, no success. 'Too hard', he would say. After doing this for awhile he finally does it in his pants! It's all so frustrating.

After some reading and reflecting this morning, I have realised a few things. This whole thing is not about me. It's not a reflection of my parenting skills how long it takes Caelan to go to the toilet (although I still feel that). It's about him and his readyness. He doesn't want to wear nappies, so I think he is ready, but I have to accept it's going to take a lot longer than I thought it would. Again, I have to let go of my own expectations and timing and allow Caelan to do things in his time. I need a big dose of patience and love to not turn this into a power struggle.

I have come across a few more suggestions to try and encourage him... special toys or books for the potty, letting him do a no.2 in his pants/nappy but he has to do it in the bathroom, give him a nappy to do the no. 2 and gradually move him closer to the toilet and then sit on the toilet with his nappy on to do the no.2, even cut a hole in his nappy!!

However, I think the biggest thing for me at the moment is to let go. Let go of my expectations. Let go of my feelings of inadequacy. Let go of my frustration. Let love, grace and patience take hold. I am guessing this is not the only time I will have to learn this lesson. However, if anyone has some other suggestions, I am all ears....

Day Out

We have not long gotten back from what was a fantastic day out! For Christmas we gave Adriaan's parents (Opa and Granny M) a day out with us! It's not something that they do or we do very often, so it was quite special and very enjoyable.

We started out at Ettalong Beach to build some sandcastles and go paddling. We are not a big beach going family, so beach trips have been few and far between for the boys. When we were in Tassie, Caelan was quite scared of the waves so we picked an inlet to help him push beyond his fears but not completely freak him out. He loved building sandcastles but at first would not go near the water. However, after a bit of encouragement to chase the seagulls with me, we both ended up paddling up to our knees. So this was heartening for us to see. Elisha also enjoyed the sand, but wouldn't keep his hat on!!

Once it started to get too hot, we went to Woy Woy channel and got fish and chips from Fisherman's Wharf. Yum! There is a great playground outside the shop which Caelan enjoyed. Elisha surprisingly sat in his pram quite contented this whole time! We then went for a little walk along the channel. Elisha fell asleep and Caelan found another little 'beach' to go for a 'swim'! It was a beautiful spot with some big trees for shade, a gorgeous breeze and lots of boats on the channel.

Caelan found a friend to 'make cakes' with.

God gave us little blessings today to enjoy. One being the beautiful weather. Not too hot, not too cold, refreshing breeze and blue sky. Two ducks with their ducklings came waddling through the park, then into the channel and Caelan was able to feed them bread. Then on our way out, we were just in time for pelican feeding! We finished the day as you should finish any day like this: with icecream!!

The boys slept on the way home. And to top off the wonders of the day - it was a day without nappies!! Yay! Longish car trip (1 hour) and no accidents. We all had a wonderful day and it is definately a spot we will go back to.

Selling my soul?

Someone asked me (kindly) the other day whether after a year of not being the wife of a full time paid pastoral minister I felt like I had sold my soul. My answer was without hesitation. Not at all. I feel like I have gained it. Of course, this is not to say that all whom are in this position are selling their souls.... but this post is about my journey.


There are many people who do not understand the shift in life that we made one year ago now. (And that's ok by the way!) And many say we left 'full time ministry'. Some still drop hints about how wonderful it would be if we 'came back'. They see our exit as a 'step down' in the world or at least not fully realising all the gifts that God has put in us. I beg to differ with these views. I stand firm in the conviction that we left one form of full time paid ministry into another form of full time unpaid ministry.

I think it is high time that we start considering how we use words like 'ministry' and 'church'. We need to start to think about what the terms are loaded with whether there is any foundation for these meanings in the Scriptures. This post is about ministry. I'll leave church for another time.

Why have so many of us (including myself up until last year) narrowed our understanding of ministry to the activities of the formal church? What on earth has driven us to the point where we see two people going to theological college. We applaud the person who 'gives up' work in the 'secular' world to go into 'full time ministry' and the other who goes back to their job - well that's o.k., there's nothing wrong with that, we all know we can serve God anywhere - but somewhere at the back of our minds (even if we wouldn't say it out loud) we think lesser of that choice.

Why was it when I was at uni, there was a constant push for students to consider going into full time ministry? Granted not everyone has the gifts for 'full time ministry', so that's ok. You can work, financially support those with the 'gifts' - oh, and you can evangelise your workplace. I'm sorry, does anyone else find these thought processes slightly demeaning?? Please someone find me somewhere in the scriptures that supports this two tiered system! Come on, folks we all know it doesn't... Jesus came to break down barriers not put them up. So why, do we continue to perpetuate this view?

We have to come up with a way to give meaning back to the 'everyday' life. To fully support those engaged everyday with the marketplace, the world in which we were called. To call people back from feeling worthless because they don't have the right gifting for full time ministry into a space of worthiness - because Jesus and his Spirit have gifted them just as they are - no expectations to be something different but a desire to see them grow into their gifts. These people are wonderful, gifted, creative and incredible people. Yet the system makes them feel like second class citizens. How can people grow into their God given gifts with this on their shoulders?

I am going out on a limb here. An average week in the Schepel household has no night meetings, no 'church' programs, no 'bible' study, no prayer meetings, no leadership training, no evangelism training and yes, shock horror even on occasion no gathering of believers. Yet, I am fully convinced that Adriaan and I are engaged in full time ministry.

We believe we are in the exact place that God wants us right now. I am watching Adriaan grow into his role at work, growing in wisdom in his engagement with others and the earth. I am witnessing him develop skills and gifts that would never be recognised in the 'system.' We are watching God at work in the people around us. We are seeing relationships grow with our neighbours and being greatly enriched by knowing them. We are learning to love, to show the grace of Jesus, to wait on the Spirit for his promptings and timing. The absence of the things above allows us to be present and available like we have never been able to be before. We are free to know and love people just as they are with no agenda attached.

An example of this: after organising a neighbourhood Christmas party a couple of weeks back, Adriaan and I could count 33 people in the few streets around us that we knew by face and name. This is not to boast, but to show that by simply being available and making small efforts to talk and to get to know people, this is what opens up. In our previous neighbourhoods when engaged in another 'full time' ministry context we were lucky to know the name of two people!

Please, don't hear this post wrong. This is not about creating another tiered system where this type of ministry is better than the 'formal' system. The experiences, people and opportunities are different but all equally worthy of our calling. This post is about broadening our use of the term ministry, to eradicate the tiered system. I believe we are called to minister in all of life, whatever context God has placed us, be it a paid pastor, a youth worker, an oversees missionary, a mother or in the marketplace. We should be all sacrificing something of our lives for the sake of the gospel, not just those going into 'full time paid ministry'. Sure, different contexts will demand different things of us, but should not the focus be on God's glory, not on the person who is 'sacrificing so much'?

This is more than just semantics or a hobby horse of mine. I truly believe if we really consider all of what we do ministry - having arvo tea or a beer with the neighbour as well as running the kids club, then it gives something for people to grow into. It creates a space for dignity, integrity and giftedness which falls outside of the box. It removes the tension we feel in life between 'serving' at church and getting to know those around us. I have heard it expressed (and also experienced) that people are too busy or involved in 'ministry' to have much time to spend with their neighbours or friends. Don't you see if both are ministry then this tension is removed. You just do what the Spirit is calling you to. The 'church' stuff no longer has the necessary priority.

In the end, isn't our ministry what we give to God and do for him? Or is it what you do for your 'church', your minister and the expectations of what a 'committed Christian' should look like? Me, I now go for the first option. It's much more freeing. No more guilt trips. Cause in the end, we're accountable to God, right?

Thoughts?