Anyone know where you can buy patience? I think I need some and maybe a chill pill or two. The last 2 and a bit weeks we have been toilet training Caelan. He's done pretty well on the whole with no. 1's. He is displaying typical boy behaviour of taking his time about it but he gets most of his 'wees' in the toilet. No 2's are a whole different arena. He simply refuses to do them in the toilet or potty. He will do them in his underwear or his nappy which he wears at sleep time. He has even started asking for a nappy to do them in! I haven't obliged, yet... I figure if he doesn't like doing them in his pants, then surely he will want to do them in the toilet...
Or not. I have just spent the last hour researching this issue on the internet. Seems like I am not alone (although it feels like it... all you people out there who's kids seems to toilet train in a few days!!) And it seems some kids will carry on like this for a year or more!! Yikes!
Yesterday, I lost my patience with Caelan. We were running to the toilet every few minutes cause he needed to do a no. 2. Yet, no success. 'Too hard', he would say. After doing this for awhile he finally does it in his pants! It's all so frustrating.
After some reading and reflecting this morning, I have realised a few things. This whole thing is not about me. It's not a reflection of my parenting skills how long it takes Caelan to go to the toilet (although I still feel that). It's about him and his readyness. He doesn't want to wear nappies, so I think he is ready, but I have to accept it's going to take a lot longer than I thought it would. Again, I have to let go of my own expectations and timing and allow Caelan to do things in his time. I need a big dose of patience and love to not turn this into a power struggle.
I have come across a few more suggestions to try and encourage him... special toys or books for the potty, letting him do a no.2 in his pants/nappy but he has to do it in the bathroom, give him a nappy to do the no. 2 and gradually move him closer to the toilet and then sit on the toilet with his nappy on to do the no.2, even cut a hole in his nappy!!
However, I think the biggest thing for me at the moment is to let go. Let go of my expectations. Let go of my feelings of inadequacy. Let go of my frustration. Let love, grace and patience take hold. I am guessing this is not the only time I will have to learn this lesson. However, if anyone has some other suggestions, I am all ears....
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2 comments:
the joys of parenting! Maisie started the process of toileting a while ago now and she still has good days and bad days. We ended up using a star chart and a treat system for rewarding the good times, and this seemed to work quite well. It is frustrating and does seem like it is never ending and the mess everywhere doesnt seem to end - but its just another "stage" and it will someday end! Ill send you a big dose of patience via email - cause just when you think they are done, they let you know that you are not in control of the situation!
When I was Caelan's age I did mine in an empty jam tin and got spanked for it. I like your approach better!
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