Through the eyes of a child

What does life hold when viewing it from the perspective of a child? As adults, we can only imagine. It's very hard to go back to that space, after we've grown up and had life experiences which have given us both deep joy and deep grief. Kids see life simplistically. As a parent, it is refreshing to see little people view life this way, when ours seems overly complicated. So what are the things filling my boys' lives at the moment?

Caelan is presently 2years and 4 months. He is getting taller but not much heavier I suspect ( You need to eat to put on weight, right?)

Favourite activities: jumping and wrestling, running, playing with water (even if it's freezing cold), dancing and singing along with the wiggles, singing songs with actions, playing with trucks, cars, buses and trains, looking at the stars, making a cake with mummy.

Favourite food: This is a touchy subject. Caelan eats such a limited variety of food - however, he loves plain crackers and cheese.

Caelan adores other people. Whenever other children or adults are around he goes a little 'wild'. He loves our family and the people in our church. He often recites the lists of people that he loves to see and interact with.

Things I particularly love about Caelan: Although, a bit rough, I think he has a gentle soul. He is sensitive to feelings and gives lots of cuddles and kisses. Caelan is a people person. Easily giving kisses goodnight to people he has never met before, learning their names and asking about them the next day. Caelan has a musical bent - it's delightful to watch him learn songs, dance to just a beat without music and try all sorts of dance moves!

Elisha is 5 months old. He is a smaller boy but happy and healthy. He is only just moving into 00 clothes. At 4 months he was 6.4kg and 63cm long.

Favourite activity: Watching his older brother. Caelan plays 'boo' with him from behind the lounge. This always produces laughter in Elisha.

Favourite toy: at the moment seems to be his fist! He still doesn't hold onto much, but loves shoving his bib into his mouth.

Favourite food: Mummy's breastmilk of course! More to come on that in a month or so!

Things I have observed about Elisha: He doesn't sleep much during the day. Seems he might be a people person as well. Doesn't like to miss out on what is happening. He has 2-3 sleeps during the day. One will most likely be 1.5hrs and the others 45min. He is now sleeping better at night again - goes 8hours on average. He is very smiley and giggles a fair bit.

Best thing for Mummy: Both go to bed about 7pm. So most evenings I have some space to myself and with Adriaan. Yay for that!

Brothers

I didn't really have any expectations about what Caelan's and Elisha's relationship would look like at this stage. If I had given it any thought, I probably wouldn't have expected much - maybe some love and affection from Caelan but not that much from Elisha at 5months. How wrong I might have been!

I am astounded everyday at the relationship which is already alive and well between the two brothers. Caelan adores Elisha. He usually wakes up earlier than Elisha and says to me 'bubba wake?' I say 'No, bubba's asleep.' As soon as he hears Elisha, he runs into his room to greet him into the day. He smothers him with love and affection - always wanting to touch him, cuddle him, kiss him, teach him, roll on him, jump on him and of course - take his toys away! The other day Caelan was showing Elisha how to draw. He brought him some paper, which he placed on Elisha's lap and then put a pencil in his hand and moved his hand over the paper to draw. He has started wanting to read books to Elisha. I am told to sit Elisha up on the lounge so Caelan can look at a book with him.

Yesterday, Caelan stayed the night at his grandparents. In the morning he asked my mum 'Sha work?' Of course, work to Caelan is when you are absent from the home, so Elisha was clearly at work! When the two brothers were reunited at the end of the day, Caelan was estatic.

This is no one way relationship. Elisha adores his older brother. He watches him so closely. Elisha's face lights up in a special way whenever Caelan is around. Caelan does not have to work very hard to get a smile or laugh from Elisha. Caelan can do little wrong in Elisha's eyes. Even when Caelan is rolling over the top of him, Elisha thinks it is hilarious. How true is the saying in this instance 'It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye!'

I never expected to be so delighted in observing this precious relationship which cannot really be expressed in words. How I pray that this would continue as they grow together. I pray that 'macho' manhood would never be a substitute for the love that God instills in siblings at such an early age.

Lesson Number One

Never leave your two year old child alone in the house while hanging the washing out.

Sleep! Where art thou?

I had this strange concept in my head that babies were meant to improve their sleep patterns as they got older... ( a little naive I know) My precious Elisha seems to be doing the opposite. Although his day sleep patterns are improving somewhat ( but now catnapping i.e. 40min sleeps), he is getting worse at night. He started off very well as a newborn, doing long 4-5 hour stretches at night and by 6weeks sleeping through the night (8hours at least sometimes 10 or 11hours!). By 14weeks Elisha started waking once in the night again around 3am. This is reasonably common for babies at the 3-4month mark. Although if I gave him at late feed around 10pm then he would generally sleep through till 5.30am!

The last 4 nights have been a disaster for my sleep. He is waking every 2-3hours and wanting breastmilk! What a shock to the system. The last two nights have not been quite as many times and last night I got to sleep for 4.5 hours straight! Yay! (not). What is going on???

It's easier to cope with your first cause you can catch up on sleep during the day when they are sleeping. But with the second, forget sleep. Even if it is the weekend and hubby is home, your toddler makes too much noise for you to get any decent sleep anyway.

I see only one answer. Escape.

We finally made it!

After months of saying that I would get to a local playgroup - we finally made it! It has been hard to get out of the house for the last few months but I finally bit the bullet and decided to go. I nearly didn't go, when Elisha decided not to have a morning sleep, but I was determined that nothing was going to stop me.

It isn't easy forcing yourself to do something that is out of your comfort zone. I really want to make some local contacts and build some good relationships with other mums in the area... but it is hard work. It's hard to go alone to something when you don't know anyone else. But then again, I did drag two kids along with me and that makes things a bit easier. Kids are an easy subject of conversation, and you can hide behind them when conversation is lacking or when you are just plain standing on your own. I am sure many of you know what I mean. Suddenly you need to check on your baby, or the pram needs rocking so that you are 'doing' something. Or you son 'needs' you to help him build blocks or a train track.

It seems like a great group. There are 17 adults (each with one or two if not three kids), so plenty of people to get to know. People were reasonably friendly - once I had introduced myself. What is it about human beings, that we are so reluctant to make others feel welcome?I tried to introduce myself to most of the other mums in the room, but no one initiated it with me. Is it that people are too involved in their own activities that they don't even notice you? Or is there just not enough care to take a small step and say hi.... Anyway, I enjoyed the morning nonetheless. Caelan had a ball running around the hall and for once, there were more boys than girls!

God also surprised me with one other thing that morning. One of our neighbours goes to that exact same playgroup with her 2year old daughter! I have chatted to her a few times, but she is quite shy and the family keeps to themselves. Our other set of neighbours are very friendly so we generally pour more energy into that relationship. So by taking me along to this playgroup (which was a completely random choice off the internet), God was telling me that there is more growing to do with this family next door and not to give up so soon!

So bring on Wednesday mornings!!

Green growth

It seems over the last few weeks my interest and commitment to the garden has increased. I have always loved gardens but never been one to put much effort in myself. Most things I have attempted have not grown terribly well. I am not entirely sure why all this has changed (it's still early days!!) A few thoughts: a) My current life circumstances of being shut up in the home more than I would like have forced me to go outdoors for some therapy! b) Adriaan has more free time on weekends and after work to assist me with certain projects c) the fact that the backyard was virtually devoid of any garden or tree (just lawn and fence) has been a catalyst to make it a more delightful space for me and a space for exploration and discovery for Caelan.

Unfortunately as renters we need to consider what we want to take with us and what we are wiling to leave behind. So there is probably more in pots than I would normally like... but I am thankful all the same.

So today's project was to pot a couple of citrus trees we purchased (lemon and lime) and a few herbs that didn't go in the garden bed. Caelan enjoyed the process of helping fill the pots with soil. Here are a few photos of the process.



My herb garden has flourished over the last few weeks and we are already enjoyed the fresh crunchy lettuce leaves and herbs. In the garden I planted some parsley, dill, thyme, oregano, chives, spring onion, rocket, cos lettuce and mixed lettuce. In pots I have mint, coriander, rosemary and a bay laurel tree. Basil will be planted in the spring. I have also planted lavender bushes, marigolds and a couple of other border flowers and leaves for colour. It's amazing with a little effort how a place can be transformed. May God continue to bless its growth as we continue to enjoy him in the garden.

Shown above are photos of before, after the intial planting and then 4 weeks of growth.

Today's efforts

When the dust settles...

It's been awhile since I have signed in. Life with two young boys keeps me pretty busy and when I do have a moment to myself I am just too tired to engage the brain!! So right now is a pretty rare moment these days.

Elisha is now 4 months old and has finally settled down somewhat. My days are easier with him - he now sends himself off to sleep which has released me from the physical burden of having to 'get him off to sleep' in whatever way I knew how. My secret was dancing with him but was awfully time consuming. I can now take him out in a pram (he didn't like the pram before) and he will fall asleep while at the shops. So this morning we had a lovely outing to Mt Druitt Westfield.

He loves watching his older brother and interacts with him beautifully - laughing at his antics (including being almost jumped upon!) He has been rolling for a couple of weeks and this last week has started pushing his knees up under his bottom. He is very smiley, talkative and giggles a lot. A real delight.

It was only a couple of weeks ago that I was in the thick of tears and tiredness. (Tiredness not gone away yet!! I will have to wait about 15years at least for that one!) Life has become a little more sane and I am feeling a little more human. I coped. I got through that particular hard time. My question is: Is coping enough? Why in the hardest times do we force ourselves to cope alone? Why do we so often isolate ourselves? I was completely isolated during that time with the exception of my mum and Adriaan. We have moved away from our old friends - I could have called someone, but didn't. It was too hard. I didn't want to burst into to tears over the phone and be that vulnerable to anyone. Why so often do people find out about our hard times after the event? Why are we so afraid to let people along side us in the darkness?

I would have loved some company. Someone to come round and just be with me for the day. Someone to take Caelan off my hands for a few hours. Someone to ring and say hi, how are you? But it's hard for people to do that, if they don't know. We are designed as relational beings. To be in relationship with each other and with our Creator. It is a comfort to know that despite the twisted state of our human relationships, the Author of life knows all, sees all. Nothing is hidden from him. He has sent his Counsellor to guide, strengthen and comfort. He was my helper during those trying months. I know that God is enough... that he will provide for every need. Yet, what an amazing tension exists in life... just like Adam in the garden of Eden... we are designed for human relationship too... it is not good for us to be alone.