Too tired

I haven't been blogging very much lately mainly due to tiredness. Everytime I get a few moments to blog, it's too hard to engage the brain. Elisha has become quite a challenging baby again of late. He doesn't seem to cope very well with teeth or sickness. (I think I was very spoilt with Caelan). So the last couple of weeks, Elisha has been waking a minimum of 3 times in the night - up to every hour or two when he was pushing his third tooth through. I think now he is just in a bad habit after waking cause of his teeth.

He is also fighting his day sleeps as well. So even now, this post is kinda forced. Too tired to really think about what to write.

How is it that two small beings can suck so much energy out of two fully grown adults in the last 2-3hours of the day?

For those that are wondering, Lishi's ear is fine. The tear was probably not as deep as I originally thought and baby's heal fast!

One brief moment is enough...

When it comes to emergency situations there are generally two types of people ( so I am lead to believe). Those amazing people who can keep their cool, think clearly, not panic and bring wisdom and logic to the situation. And then there are those who just lose it, panic, go into shock, can't think straight or even talk straight!

I assume most people would like to think they would fit into the former category, at least to some extent. Nobody wants to be the one that panics and does irrational things. These are not what heroes are made of in the movies.

I have had only two experiences in my life which have led me to understand something of myself. As much as I find it irritating and frustrating, I fall into the latter category. The person whose brain gets muddled, to whom shock sets in immediately and their strength is sapped.

11 years ago my family was on one of our many trips exploring Australia. We were in SW Queensland, about 500km west of the coast. Having left the small town of Dirranbandi, we were headed to Lightening Ridge. Just after dusk, my father came out of a bend in the road and ploughed into at least 6 black angus cows. Amazingly, no one was hurt. Our Toyota troop carrier was written off after discovering a crack in the block of the engine. We killed at least two of the cows and their blood and faeces were all over the car.

I went into shock immediately. I kept repeating 'We hit cows, we hit cows, we hit cows.' It was quite an effort for my parents to ascertain from me that I wasn't hurt. I was completely useless in the situation.

There might be a mild hope for someone like me that when I am actually responsible for others - such as my own children, that I might be able to rise to the occasion. But now I am not so sure about that. Yesterday, I had one brief moment of thinking that one of my sons had been seriously injured and that was enough for me.

As Elisha lay on the floor happily playing, Caelan stepped over him (not unusual at all). I saw him do this out of the corner of my eye. All of a sudden, Elisha started wailing, I knew he was seriously hurt by his cry. I picked him up looking for what was causing his pain. Then I noticed the blood from the top of his ear where it joined his head. That was the brief moment of realisation that his ear had been torn from his head, as Caelan must have stepped on it.

There wasn't a huge amount of blood and surprisingly Elisha calmed down relatively quickly. But I started to go into mild shock. I couldn't control it. I think I knew it wasn't serious, but just the thought that something more serious could be or not knowing quite how deep the tear was. I rang Adriaan and the only words I could think to say was 'I think he's o.k. (pause). He's stopped crying now'. For quite awhile afterwards, I still felt my heart thumping and my body felt weak. I know it sounds pathetic. Maybe it is. I don't know. All I know is my reaction is virtually uncontrollable.

It is concerning to me that I might be the only one present for an emergency situation, especially with my boys. My only hope is that the rationale, calm and strength I need could be provided God. Here's hoping I could at least get them to the hospital safely.

I feel terrible for Lishi. We have taped his ear down to try and help the wound heal. As he is Mr Rolypoly in his cot, he keeps bending his ear back and reopening the wound. I still am not sure whether it might need a trip to the doctors for some glue, I'll try and work that out today.

Well, I suppose if you gain nothing else from this post, you now know not to call me in an emergency!

A donkey is a boys' best friend

Over the last few days Caelan has developed an affiliation with one of his stuffed toys - a donkey. It has a creative name: Donkey. We have noticed over the last month or so that Caelan's play has been changing. He is starting to make up stories, role and pretend play. Some of his 'little people' have become mummy, daddy and Caelan.

Today, Caelan took on the role of mummy to donkey. Maybe a girl would develop this sooner, but today was the first time I have noted Caelan cuddling, cradling, rocking, consoling a soft toy. Many times today, donkey was tired and needed to be tucked into bed. He was even scared of Opa's truck and was told 'shhhh, it's o.k, ok'. Up until now Caelan has not had a particular doll, animal or object which has been favoured. Donkey however, was tucked in with him both at lunch and nighttime. We also had to kiss Donkey good night. I wonder whether Donkey will become part of the family...

7 months young

Elisha turned 7 months old yesterday. How the time is flying. It has been a eventful week for 'Sha' (as Caelan still calls him). First, was two bottom teeth finally breaking though on Wednesday. Second, was sitting up on Thursday and third was saying 'da-da-da-da-da' on Friday.

We are continually enjoying Elisha, who has taken very well to solids this last month. He happily enjoys three meals a day and soon will have some snacks as well. He has started to become a lot more active on the floor these last couple of weeks. Always rolling and much happier for longer on his tummy. He has never developed a real interest in toys. He just loves watching and interacting with his older brother.

It's been amazing to watch how Caelan now plays differently with Elisha as well. He seems to know Elisha is older and can interact differently. Caelan has started lining cars and trucks and animals around Elisha and proceeds to identify each item for him.

The two boys have already started wrestling! Caelan lies over Elisha (not with all his body weight) and they roll over together, and Elisha tugs at Caelans hair and kicks him! They both think it is hilarious (so does mummy - that is before one of them loses an eye!) They are great mates already.

In terms of stats, Lishi is still on the smaller side of things. Weighing in at 7.5kg (at 6months) and about 68cm long. But of course, on the cutemeter comes in on equal top with his brother. (in his mother's eyes anyway)

For interest, spot the differences between Caelan (below) at 7 months and Elisha!!

The presence of others

Adriaan left before 5am this morning to catch a flight to Adelaide for work. He won't be home until late Friday night. So it is a good solid 4 days I am alone with the boys. Thankfully we are all feeling much better than last week, although still not 100%.

It is times like these that I am extra thankful for having family close by and willing to let me hang with them for a good portion of this week. When Adriaan has been away in the past, mum has stayed with us. But this week I will probably spend two nights at her house. Having someone else around to help with the kids is wonderful. Mornings and evenings x4 on my own with two young boys is not my idea of fun!

Some people like solitude and don't mind their own company. Adriaan is one of those people. I am not. I just like company. We don't have to be talking, but someone just to hang with. Someone to help fill the void. Mere presence is enough. Isn't it interesting the way that we are wired; there is a deep desire in most of us to find the 'one' person to share the rest of your life with. When we travel, see a movie, watch a sunset, we want to share it with someone else; a spouse, a friend, a sister. 'I wished you could have seen it with me.' Something significant is gained when an experienced is shared. Perhaps part of it is the building of memories and stories with others. If you do it alone, retelling the story in years to come is no where near as much fun.

I suspect a big part of it is a reflection of how we were created. God in himself is in relationship. He exists not as one but three. When he works in the world he works as Father, Son and Spirit. God is relationship.

If (God was) simply One God and only One Person, then you would find yourself in this Creation without something wonderful, without something essental even. And (God) would be utterly other than (he is)... All love and relationship is possible for you only because it already exists within (God). Love is not the limitation; love is the flying.

-William P. Young, The Shack, p.101.

So when we yearn to be with others

we could remember that this is something to be deeply thankful for. Our yearning images the One who yearns to be restored to all his creation. And how wonderful to know that when we begin a journey with the maker of all, he welcomes us into his awesome presence. In grace and wisdom he gives us his Spirit to walk and journey with us.

His presence with us. Immanuel.

When your head feels like it's going to explode!

Well, life is green at the moment but not in the way I normally use green!! Kids noses running... need I say more?

Adriaan started the ball rolling getting sick at the end of last week, next in line Caelan, then me, and dear little Elisha is getting it now I suspect. Not fun. This has to be the worst... being sick and having to look after sick kids. It's one thing to be up in the night numerous times with your nearly 7month old when you are well, but it is a complete other when your head feels like someone stuck an axe into it, your ears are aching and your nose is unceasingly itchy.

Not much more to say really. And anyway kids are grizzly and want some attention.

Elisha gets wet

On Sunday, Elisha was baptised. It was a wonderful day full of much blessing. We had it at a home where we often gather for church. It is a beautiful home, as are its inhabitants. We thank them for their willingness to host the day and the way they welcome strangers into their home. It was a chilli day, so the fireplace was raging, we had morning tea with family and friends and then one of Elisha's adopted grandparents along with the help of his maternal grandfather baptised him.

I thoroughly enjoyed the relaxed nature of the day. People seemed to have time just to hang together in a very inviting environment. It was also wonderful to give our families an opportuity to meet some of the people in our church. People who have become very dear to us in a very short space of time.

Here are some photos of the day:

Smiley Elisha

Opa, Cousin Luke and Caelan

In the garden