Well, we are back from 2 weeks in Tasmania. We had a good holiday, all in all and enjoyed being away and having a real break. A holiday with young children however, will never be completely restful - as we well know. I will probably take a few blogs over the next week to update on some of our holiday. The first will have to be what ended up consuming a lot of our thinking and energy.
In the last 6 months or so, Caelan has developed quite a number of fears - often about quite irrational things. Firstly, it was over things with loud noises, like lawn mowers, vaccum cleaners, tractors, power tools etc. It then developed into a fear of most animals (although completely inconsistent) especially when they moved towards him or made sounds - like cows mooing etc. Then perhaps because of the association Caelan made between noise and objects, he started to fear the object itself even when it was making any noise. Thus he is scared of his Opa's farm truck (even when it isn't turned on). Caelan loves all these things in toys and books - especially trucks but not in 'real life'.
So I figured the plane trip to Tassie would be interesting, but nothing prepared us for the 1.5hour journey we had with Caelan. In hindsight, I should of prepared Caelan a lot more since his last plane trip was one year ago. We talked about going on a plane. He was all excited about it and talked about it for days. He was great at the airport, getting onto the plane, he settled into his seat, proud to be doing up his seatbelt. As soon as the plane started take off, Caelan flipped out. He pretty much screamed the whole way telling us he wanted to get off the plane. He was so pretrified. It was a very traumatic experience for everyone involved. Nothing would distract him. Adriaan spent most of the journey standing in the back cabin with Caelan clinging onto him for dear life. He finally screamed himself to sleep for about 20min before we had to belt him back in for landing.
We felt horrible. There was so much fear in his eyes that could not be consoled. We could not remove him from the situation even though he was pleading to be removed. As you can imagine, contemplating the trip home took a lot of our thinking, energy and conversation during our two week stay. If there was any other way home, I would have taken it. But Caelan is just as scared of boats as he is planes. And the boat trip would take a lot longer!!
We tested some Phenergan on Caelan a few days before flying out - it had little or no effect on him!! So we knew we had to face the inevitable. We spent a number of days talking about the plane, making the plane sound fun and reading books about the plane trip. I went shopping with Caelan for special plane treats -which he could only open on the plane. The biggest hit was 'Cars' toys - Sally and Filmore. This hard work paid off. The flight home was not without fear or anxiety, but he sat on Adriaan's lap for the whole journey, played with his new cars and ate 'circles' (cheese rings). The key was keeping him from getting himself into a heightened panicked state in which we could not bring him down from. We were mentally exhausted at the end of it.
Caelan is a sensitive kid. He is prone to moodiness - his moods can change very quickly. He is cautious and doesn't take many risks without knowing some security. He seems very aware of his own body's capability and doesn't push much beyond. At present we are struggling with him saying he is scared of silly things - like 'Caelan's light' and the bath plug! My prayer for him is that his current weaknesses will become one of his greatest strengths. That God will grow in him a sensitivity to his own and others emotions, a compassionate heart, thoughtfulness, care and a good fear of God with a pronounced sense of the urgency in making Jesus' light shine.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Little Life
We moved into our existing neighbourhood over 10months ago. Our deep desire was to see relationships build with those around us. We had and still have a desire to bless others with the love and grace of Jesus. These last months have been a testimony to God's leading and bringing opportunities across our paths rather than us going in search of such things. We have seen some relationships blossom beautifully and have in turn been greatly enriched ourselves.
A few nights ago we witnessed God at work again, in an amazing way. A family near us had a baby boy about 7 weeks ago. We had had a few conversations with them before then. We were able to supply them with hot chocolate and donuts when they moved in on a stormy winter's night and cook them a meal when the bub was born. Other than that there has only been a few snippets of conversations here and there.
Then at 3.45am there was a banging on our front door. The mother was standing there, her babe in arms, crying, asking for help because her son wasn't breathing properly. We weren't really sure what to do. The father had called an ambulance. I wasn't even sure if there was something wrong; the bub was breathing. They said he was very lethargic, not waking up for a feed and not really responding. Maybe he's just really tired I thought. But I also knew that most mothers have a pretty good gut instinct about their children. I don't really know why, but I took him out of her arms and shook him above my head. His eyes opened and look reasonably alert. He stuck his tongue out and put his fist up to his mouth. I said 'He's alive'. I knew these things were good signs.
Some relief was brought to the situation. During this time Elisha had woken and needed to be resettled. Adriaan was attending to him. Our neighbours went back to their house to wait for the ambulance. I went to relieve Adriaan. We went to see if things were ok, but the ambulance had gone and the house locked up again. We assumed everything was ok.
The next day, the father came over late in the day, saying the ambulance had taken the baby because he had a SIDS episode. Apparently, his breathing was slowing and was shutting his body down. When I shook him, I jolted him back into a normal breathing rhythm and probably saved his life. The bub is still in hospital now, they are still monitoring him and his breathing.
God's timing and prompting in this situation has amazed me. The prompting of the mum to come and ask for help from acquaintances. His prompting for me to shake the bub. The fact that if it had happened a week later, we wouldn't be here (we are off to Tasmania tomorrow for two weeks). Now of course, we wait and see what God has in store. We really feel this has been another way God has opened up opportunity for us to minister into these people's lives. An opportunity to show Jesus' love and compassion. An opportunity to be present with them in a difficult time. And an opportunity to be blessed by them in return.
The timing that does seem strange to me is that we are going on holidays: unable to be here or help them. ( still not sure how stable/serious the baby's condition is). But if this situation shows us anything, we can trust that God's timing is absolutely perfect. I hope to go to the hospital today and see the mum briefly before we go.
If I am learning anything this year as we journey in a different direction, it is to wait on the Spirit. Too often we get great ideas, seize what we think is a great opportunity, plan for the future and expect God to assist us in our plans. God in his graciousness often does. I am trying not to get hung up on things that maybe I could have said or done or frustrated at situations that don't go how I think they should go. Instead, realising that God opens the doors and in his timing will things flourish. I am learning to listen. And God is proving faithful.
A few nights ago we witnessed God at work again, in an amazing way. A family near us had a baby boy about 7 weeks ago. We had had a few conversations with them before then. We were able to supply them with hot chocolate and donuts when they moved in on a stormy winter's night and cook them a meal when the bub was born. Other than that there has only been a few snippets of conversations here and there.
Then at 3.45am there was a banging on our front door. The mother was standing there, her babe in arms, crying, asking for help because her son wasn't breathing properly. We weren't really sure what to do. The father had called an ambulance. I wasn't even sure if there was something wrong; the bub was breathing. They said he was very lethargic, not waking up for a feed and not really responding. Maybe he's just really tired I thought. But I also knew that most mothers have a pretty good gut instinct about their children. I don't really know why, but I took him out of her arms and shook him above my head. His eyes opened and look reasonably alert. He stuck his tongue out and put his fist up to his mouth. I said 'He's alive'. I knew these things were good signs.
Some relief was brought to the situation. During this time Elisha had woken and needed to be resettled. Adriaan was attending to him. Our neighbours went back to their house to wait for the ambulance. I went to relieve Adriaan. We went to see if things were ok, but the ambulance had gone and the house locked up again. We assumed everything was ok.
The next day, the father came over late in the day, saying the ambulance had taken the baby because he had a SIDS episode. Apparently, his breathing was slowing and was shutting his body down. When I shook him, I jolted him back into a normal breathing rhythm and probably saved his life. The bub is still in hospital now, they are still monitoring him and his breathing.
God's timing and prompting in this situation has amazed me. The prompting of the mum to come and ask for help from acquaintances. His prompting for me to shake the bub. The fact that if it had happened a week later, we wouldn't be here (we are off to Tasmania tomorrow for two weeks). Now of course, we wait and see what God has in store. We really feel this has been another way God has opened up opportunity for us to minister into these people's lives. An opportunity to show Jesus' love and compassion. An opportunity to be present with them in a difficult time. And an opportunity to be blessed by them in return.
The timing that does seem strange to me is that we are going on holidays: unable to be here or help them. ( still not sure how stable/serious the baby's condition is). But if this situation shows us anything, we can trust that God's timing is absolutely perfect. I hope to go to the hospital today and see the mum briefly before we go.
If I am learning anything this year as we journey in a different direction, it is to wait on the Spirit. Too often we get great ideas, seize what we think is a great opportunity, plan for the future and expect God to assist us in our plans. God in his graciousness often does. I am trying not to get hung up on things that maybe I could have said or done or frustrated at situations that don't go how I think they should go. Instead, realising that God opens the doors and in his timing will things flourish. I am learning to listen. And God is proving faithful.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Too tired
I haven't been blogging very much lately mainly due to tiredness. Everytime I get a few moments to blog, it's too hard to engage the brain. Elisha has become quite a challenging baby again of late. He doesn't seem to cope very well with teeth or sickness. (I think I was very spoilt with Caelan). So the last couple of weeks, Elisha has been waking a minimum of 3 times in the night - up to every hour or two when he was pushing his third tooth through. I think now he is just in a bad habit after waking cause of his teeth.
He is also fighting his day sleeps as well. So even now, this post is kinda forced. Too tired to really think about what to write.
How is it that two small beings can suck so much energy out of two fully grown adults in the last 2-3hours of the day?
For those that are wondering, Lishi's ear is fine. The tear was probably not as deep as I originally thought and baby's heal fast!
He is also fighting his day sleeps as well. So even now, this post is kinda forced. Too tired to really think about what to write.
How is it that two small beings can suck so much energy out of two fully grown adults in the last 2-3hours of the day?
For those that are wondering, Lishi's ear is fine. The tear was probably not as deep as I originally thought and baby's heal fast!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
One brief moment is enough...
When it comes to emergency situations there are generally two types of people ( so I am lead to believe). Those amazing people who can keep their cool, think clearly, not panic and bring wisdom and logic to the situation. And then there are those who just lose it, panic, go into shock, can't think straight or even talk straight!
I assume most people would like to think they would fit into the former category, at least to some extent. Nobody wants to be the one that panics and does irrational things. These are not what heroes are made of in the movies.
I have had only two experiences in my life which have led me to understand something of myself. As much as I find it irritating and frustrating, I fall into the latter category. The person whose brain gets muddled, to whom shock sets in immediately and their strength is sapped.
11 years ago my family was on one of our many trips exploring Australia. We were in SW Queensland, about 500km west of the coast. Having left the small town of Dirranbandi, we were headed to Lightening Ridge. Just after dusk, my father came out of a bend in the road and ploughed into at least 6 black angus cows. Amazingly, no one was hurt. Our Toyota troop carrier was written off after discovering a crack in the block of the engine. We killed at least two of the cows and their blood and faeces were all over the car.
I went into shock immediately. I kept repeating 'We hit cows, we hit cows, we hit cows.' It was quite an effort for my parents to ascertain from me that I wasn't hurt. I was completely useless in the situation.
There might be a mild hope for someone like me that when I am actually responsible for others - such as my own children, that I might be able to rise to the occasion. But now I am not so sure about that. Yesterday, I had one brief moment of thinking that one of my sons had been seriously injured and that was enough for me.
As Elisha lay on the floor happily playing, Caelan stepped over him (not unusual at all). I saw him do this out of the corner of my eye. All of a sudden, Elisha started wailing, I knew he was seriously hurt by his cry. I picked him up looking for what was causing his pain. Then I noticed the blood from the top of his ear where it joined his head. That was the brief moment of realisation that his ear had been torn from his head, as Caelan must have stepped on it.
There wasn't a huge amount of blood and surprisingly Elisha calmed down relatively quickly. But I started to go into mild shock. I couldn't control it. I think I knew it wasn't serious, but just the thought that something more serious could be or not knowing quite how deep the tear was. I rang Adriaan and the only words I could think to say was 'I think he's o.k. (pause). He's stopped crying now'. For quite awhile afterwards, I still felt my heart thumping and my body felt weak. I know it sounds pathetic. Maybe it is. I don't know. All I know is my reaction is virtually uncontrollable.
It is concerning to me that I might be the only one present for an emergency situation, especially with my boys. My only hope is that the rationale, calm and strength I need could be provided God. Here's hoping I could at least get them to the hospital safely.
I feel terrible for Lishi. We have taped his ear down to try and help the wound heal. As he is Mr Rolypoly in his cot, he keeps bending his ear back and reopening the wound. I still am not sure whether it might need a trip to the doctors for some glue, I'll try and work that out today.
Well, I suppose if you gain nothing else from this post, you now know not to call me in an emergency!
I assume most people would like to think they would fit into the former category, at least to some extent. Nobody wants to be the one that panics and does irrational things. These are not what heroes are made of in the movies.
I have had only two experiences in my life which have led me to understand something of myself. As much as I find it irritating and frustrating, I fall into the latter category. The person whose brain gets muddled, to whom shock sets in immediately and their strength is sapped.
11 years ago my family was on one of our many trips exploring Australia. We were in SW Queensland, about 500km west of the coast. Having left the small town of Dirranbandi, we were headed to Lightening Ridge. Just after dusk, my father came out of a bend in the road and ploughed into at least 6 black angus cows. Amazingly, no one was hurt. Our Toyota troop carrier was written off after discovering a crack in the block of the engine. We killed at least two of the cows and their blood and faeces were all over the car.
I went into shock immediately. I kept repeating 'We hit cows, we hit cows, we hit cows.' It was quite an effort for my parents to ascertain from me that I wasn't hurt. I was completely useless in the situation.
There might be a mild hope for someone like me that when I am actually responsible for others - such as my own children, that I might be able to rise to the occasion. But now I am not so sure about that. Yesterday, I had one brief moment of thinking that one of my sons had been seriously injured and that was enough for me.
As Elisha lay on the floor happily playing, Caelan stepped over him (not unusual at all). I saw him do this out of the corner of my eye. All of a sudden, Elisha started wailing, I knew he was seriously hurt by his cry. I picked him up looking for what was causing his pain. Then I noticed the blood from the top of his ear where it joined his head. That was the brief moment of realisation that his ear had been torn from his head, as Caelan must have stepped on it.
There wasn't a huge amount of blood and surprisingly Elisha calmed down relatively quickly. But I started to go into mild shock. I couldn't control it. I think I knew it wasn't serious, but just the thought that something more serious could be or not knowing quite how deep the tear was. I rang Adriaan and the only words I could think to say was 'I think he's o.k. (pause). He's stopped crying now'. For quite awhile afterwards, I still felt my heart thumping and my body felt weak. I know it sounds pathetic. Maybe it is. I don't know. All I know is my reaction is virtually uncontrollable.
It is concerning to me that I might be the only one present for an emergency situation, especially with my boys. My only hope is that the rationale, calm and strength I need could be provided God. Here's hoping I could at least get them to the hospital safely.
I feel terrible for Lishi. We have taped his ear down to try and help the wound heal. As he is Mr Rolypoly in his cot, he keeps bending his ear back and reopening the wound. I still am not sure whether it might need a trip to the doctors for some glue, I'll try and work that out today.
Well, I suppose if you gain nothing else from this post, you now know not to call me in an emergency!
Monday, September 22, 2008
A donkey is a boys' best friend
Over the last few days Caelan has developed an affiliation with one of his stuffed toys - a donkey. It has a creative name: Donkey. We have noticed over the last month or so that Caelan's play has been changing. He is starting to make up stories, role and pretend play. Some of his 'little people' have become mummy, daddy and Caelan.
Today, Caelan took on the role of mummy to donkey. Maybe a girl would develop this sooner, but today was the first time I have noted Caelan cuddling, cradling, rocking, consoling a soft toy. Many times today, donkey was tired and needed to be tucked into bed. He was even scared of Opa's truck and was told 'shhhh, it's o.k, ok'. Up until now Caelan has not had a particular doll, animal or object which has been favoured. Donkey however, was tucked in with him both at lunch and nighttime. We also had to kiss Donkey good night. I wonder whether Donkey will become part of the family...
Today, Caelan took on the role of mummy to donkey. Maybe a girl would develop this sooner, but today was the first time I have noted Caelan cuddling, cradling, rocking, consoling a soft toy. Many times today, donkey was tired and needed to be tucked into bed. He was even scared of Opa's truck and was told 'shhhh, it's o.k, ok'. Up until now Caelan has not had a particular doll, animal or object which has been favoured. Donkey however, was tucked in with him both at lunch and nighttime. We also had to kiss Donkey good night. I wonder whether Donkey will become part of the family...
Saturday, September 6, 2008
7 months young
Elisha turned 7 months old yesterday. How the time is flying. It has been a eventful week for 'Sha' (as Caelan still calls him). First, was two bottom teeth finally breaking though on Wednesday. Second, was sitting up on Thursday and third was saying 'da-da-da-da-da' on Friday.We are continually enjoying Elisha, who has taken very well to solids this last month. He happily enjoys three meals a day and soon will have some snacks as well. He has started to become a lot more active on the floor these last couple of weeks. Always rolling and much happier for longer on his tummy. He has never developed a real interest in toys. He just loves watching and interacting with his older brother.
It's been amazing to watch how Caelan now plays differently with Elisha as well. He seems to know Elisha is older and can interact differently. Caelan has started lining cars and trucks and animals around Elisha and proceeds to identify each item for him.
The two boys have already started wrestling! Caelan lies over Elisha (not with all his body weight) and they roll over together, and Elisha tugs at Caelans hair and kicks him! They both think it is hilarious (so does mummy - that is before one of them loses an eye!) They are great mates already.
In terms of stats, Lishi is still on the smaller side of things. Weighing in at 7.5kg (at 6months) and about 68cm long. But of course, on the cutemeter comes in on equal top with his brother. (in his mother's eyes anyway)
For interest, spot the differences between Caelan (below) at 7 months and Elisha!!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The presence of others
Adriaan left before 5am this morning to catch a flight to Adelaide for work. He won't be home until late Friday night. So it is a good solid 4 days I am alone with the boys. Thankfully we are all feeling much better than last week, although still not 100%.
It is times like these that I am extra thankful for having family close by and willing to let me hang with them for a good portion of this week. When Adriaan has been away in the past, mum has stayed with us. But this week I will probably spend two nights at her house. Having someone else around to help with the kids is wonderful. Mornings and evenings x4 on my own with two young boys is not my idea of fun!
Some people like solitude and don't mind their own company. Adriaan is one of those people. I am not. I just like company. We don't have to be talking, but someone just to hang with. Someone to help fill the void. Mere presence is enough. Isn't it interesting the way that we are wired; there is a deep desire in most of us to find the 'one' person to share the rest of your life with. When we travel, see a movie, watch a sunset, we want to share it with someone else; a spouse, a friend, a sister. 'I wished you could have seen it with me.' Something significant is gained when an experienced is shared. Perhaps part of it is the building of memories and stories with others. If you do it alone, retelling the story in years to come is no where near as much fun.
I suspect a big part of it is a reflection of how we were created. God in himself is in relationship. He exists not as one but three. When he works in the world he works as Father, Son and Spirit. God is relationship.
If (God was) simply One God and only One Person, then you would find yourself in this Creation without something wonderful, without something essental even. And (God) would be utterly other than (he is)... All love and relationship is possible for you only because it already exists within (God). Love is not the limitation; love is the flying.
His presence with us. Immanuel.
It is times like these that I am extra thankful for having family close by and willing to let me hang with them for a good portion of this week. When Adriaan has been away in the past, mum has stayed with us. But this week I will probably spend two nights at her house. Having someone else around to help with the kids is wonderful. Mornings and evenings x4 on my own with two young boys is not my idea of fun!
Some people like solitude and don't mind their own company. Adriaan is one of those people. I am not. I just like company. We don't have to be talking, but someone just to hang with. Someone to help fill the void. Mere presence is enough. Isn't it interesting the way that we are wired; there is a deep desire in most of us to find the 'one' person to share the rest of your life with. When we travel, see a movie, watch a sunset, we want to share it with someone else; a spouse, a friend, a sister. 'I wished you could have seen it with me.' Something significant is gained when an experienced is shared. Perhaps part of it is the building of memories and stories with others. If you do it alone, retelling the story in years to come is no where near as much fun.
I suspect a big part of it is a reflection of how we were created. God in himself is in relationship. He exists not as one but three. When he works in the world he works as Father, Son and Spirit. God is relationship.
If (God was) simply One God and only One Person, then you would find yourself in this Creation without something wonderful, without something essental even. And (God) would be utterly other than (he is)... All love and relationship is possible for you only because it already exists within (God). Love is not the limitation; love is the flying.
-William P. Young, The Shack, p.101.
So when we yearn to be with others
we could remember that this is something to be deeply thankful for. Our yearning images the One who yearns to be restored to all his creation. And how wonderful to know that when we begin a journey with the maker of all, he welcomes us into his awesome presence. In grace and wisdom he gives us his Spirit to walk and journey with us.
His presence with us. Immanuel.
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